He's a good man...and thorough. Where did you go to, if I may ask?' said Thorin to Gandalf as they rode along. To look ahead,' said he. And what brought you back in the nick of time?' Looking behind,' said he. Chuck Norris doesn't have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. Oh Summer, haha first race war, huh? Chuck Norris' programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing. Hmm. In the end, cowards are those who follow the dark side. Do the dead frighten you? It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. Purge the unjust.

I suppose you're expecting some inBEARable pun?

Chuck Norris does not use exceptions when programming. He has not been able to identify any of his code that is not exceptional.

• KHAJIIT HAS WARES, IF YOU HAVE COIN
• Through the darkness of future's past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two wor...