Well, you're safe and sound now, back in good old 1955. In shield fighting, one moves fast on defense, slow on attack. Attack has the sole purpose of tricking the opponent into a misstep, setting him up for the attack sinister. The shield turns the fast blow, admits the slow kindjal! Look, you can’t design your life like a building. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it… and it’ll design itself. Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. Dong zhu! Buxu zou! There's nothing quite like urinating in the open air. Will this sadness that makes me cry my heart out — will it ever end? The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object. When you play a game of thrones you win or you die.

Are you telling me that this sucker is nuclear?

Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.

• Chuck Norris doesn't need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.
• Sometimes life puts you in difficult circumstances you didn't choose. But being happy or unhappy...